Standup Ad Space

Now selling ad space on my 9:30 standup.

People sell ad space on their laptops, their bikes and their foreheads. I have a recurring calendar invite with six attendees, thirty minutes of runtime and nowhere for anyone to go.

Dave has been talking for 3:40. That's longer than your 5K.

mic_offAre you talking? Your mic is off. This silence is brought to you by .Ad

9:34 AM|brb-offl-ine

Standup paused.

SpaceXSponsored1 of 1 · 0:10

The audience

Engineers, one manager and Kevin. Highly engaged, in the sense that they cannot leave until Marcus says "great standup, everyone".

31 min: Average runtime of a meeting scheduled for 15
6: Attendees, 5 cameras on, 1 Kevin
260×: Impressions per year, holidays included because Marcus doesn't cancel
0:00–0:40: Peak attention window, while everyone checks if they're on mute

Tomorrow's standup is already on the calendar.

This is a parody, not a media kit

Standup Ad Space is a joke. No ad space is for sale, nothing on this page can be booked and no money changes hands. If you pressed "Book a slot" and are now waiting for an invoice, Marcus says he'll take it offline.

Nike, Figma, SpaceX and Google haven't paid for, endorsed or, as far as we know, heard of any of this. Their names appear only as satire. Marcus, Dave, Priya, Lena and Kevin are AI-generated and don't exist, which is the only good excuse Kevin has ever had for keeping his camera off.

Brands added with "Try it with your brand" are made up by visitors, not by us. They only show up in your browser and in links you choose to share, and logos never leave your device. Please don't use this to impersonate a real company or fool anyone. Save that energy for your next status update.